WOW! Launch is coming up soon and have no doubt I am going through a lot emotionally. On one hand, I am very anxious to get going. I am behind schedule and know I am going to have to put the paddle down hard to make up time.
What awaits around the next corner? Only God knows.
I did not know that quitting my job, packing everything I own for storage and being broke would have such an emotional effect. I cannot sleep at night.
I keep wondering…
“What if I fail?” “What if I wreck the canoe?” “What if I cannot live on the meager amount of savings I have for this trip and beyond?” “What is God doesn’t bless my step of faith in doing what I think he wants me to do?”
The only way I am able to keep these emotions in control is prayer. Regardless of what happens, I know God is there for me.
The other side of the coin is I feel wholly unprepared. The reality is you cannot control the unknowns. Just stand strong and pray for the best. It is a complete life change and will take some adjusting but I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will prevail.
I am not afraid of drowning or being eaten by a bear but am afraid of the lonely times or not being able to stand strong and step it up for God. I know HE gives strength but I do not want to fail him.
The other aspect is this blog.
What happens when I do not have reception or my computer gets ruined? Grrrrrr…. so much going on in my head I cannot control. That’s the scary and awesome part of an expedition like this.
I have no idea of the unknown.
I encourage you to share this blog. It inspires me to know people are reading it and that they care and are praying. Please come visit me on the river if you are able and most of all, keep me in your prayers. Pray God brings people across my path that he can touch by this journey.